“Over obsession with happiness is misery”

Gaur Gopal Das, the Indian monk, lifestyle coach, motivational speaker, in an exclusive conversation with BW Businessworld Editor-in-Chief, Dr Annurag Batra, held recently, spoke about the pursuit of happiness, his life and times, and his book. He also spoke about the inspiration behind his app, Monkify, that provides affirmations, therapy / guided meditation sessions that help people relax and unwind themselves. Excerpts:

Blurb: “One must accept the reality that one cannot be happy everyday, cannot be positive everyday, cannot be on the top of the world everyday. If one realises this then the pursuit of happiness is fine. One must accept both happy and low moments of life”

Blurb: “Guilt is very good if it leads us to a path of reformation. Similarly, guilt is terrible if it is taking us into a downward spiral of negativity. So, there is a positive side of guilt as it makes the society conscious and aware about their deeds, but unreasonable guilt can put people in the loop of negativity that is self-defeating”

Blurb: “For me the only thing that matters is how lives and hearts are touched. When you find the purpose of your life, what gives you the greatest joy is that a life is touched and reformed. If that is achieved through numbers, there’s nothing wrong with it. It also means more lives are touched and impacted”

The world sees you as a monk who advises people to live a better life. How do you see yourself?

I see myself as a servant to this world. I am here to serve in whichever way, and in whatever capacity I can. I am here to see if I can help someone, and add value to their lives.

What is in your book ‘Energise Your Mind’ that will help a person live a better life? Why should one have the app and the book?

‘Energise Your Mind’ is a book that has four sections. The first section called ‘Me and My Mind’ is about how choices affect the mind. The second section, ‘Others and My Mind’ dwells on how the behaviour of others, criticism, and toxic behaviour affect the mind. The third section, ‘Me and Others Mind’ is about how one can affect the minds of other people. And, the fourth section called the ‘Universe and the Mind’ talks about the way universal forces affect the mind. So, the idea behind writing this book was to help people process guilt, criticism, different feelings and emotions. Having the app along with the

book will help. The book is probably more philosophy and thought processes though it has some interactive exercises. Whereas, the app is like a tool that can be used. One can practise an activity, listen to an affirmation, etc.

What do you have to say about the pursuit of happiness? Is it healthy or just a normal thing for a human being?

I think to pursue happiness is a normal thing, everyone wants to be happy. Whatever a person does is for pleasure. But one thing I do want say is that, we should stop obsessing with happiness. Over obsession with happiness is misery, because there is not going to be a time when you are happy every moment. Some days you may feel low, and it is alright to be so. One must accept this reality that one cannot be happy everyday, cannot be positive everyday, cannot be on the top of the world everyday. If one realises this then the pursuit of happiness is fine. One must accept both happy and low moments of life.

In the book you write about guilt as a very powerful emotion. How should one deal with guilt?

In the book I have written about two types of guilt; reasonable guilt and unreasonable guilt. Guilt is very good if it leads us to a path of reformation. Similarly, guilt is terrible if it is taking us into a downward spiral of negativity. So, there is a positive side of guilt as it makes the society conscious and aware about their deeds, but unreasonable guilt can put people in the loop of negativity that is self-defeating.

Everybody has some level of patience, but at times they breakdown, how do you overcome that breakdown to get back on that journey of mindfulness and consciousness?

Practise! Like when you start doing something you want to do better. Only when you start practising you get better. So, the more you practise, the better you get at it. What we are trying to talk about is to uncondition ourselves from the way we have done things, and to recondition ourselves. When we decide to change things, there will be many challenges. If we fall it is okay, but we have to get up and walk.

We live in the era of social media, and vanity has always been important. Are you affected by vanity or it doesn’t matter to you?

For me the only thing that matters is how lives and hearts are touched. When you find the purpose of your life, what gives you the greatest joy is that a life is touched and reformed. If that is achieved through numbers, there’s nothing

wrong with it. It also means more lives are touched and impacted. Even if ten people are impacted, it is a big success to me. If not, one still continues to do the work.

What will we see Gaur Gopal Das achieving in 2023 in the framework of contributing meaning to someone’s life?

In 2023, I want to see if I can meet people personally, interact with them not just through an app or book. I hope this book and the app can add value, but most important of all, I would like to help people in whichever way it is possible.

Please tell us about people you look up to?

There will always be people who may know more than you, be better than you. There may also be people who may not be better than you or know more than you, but they may know something in their space that you don’t know, and it can be anyone. I would not like to take names but there are many people I look up to, and it is a joy to learn from them.

If you weren’t a monk, what would you be doing?

If I weren’t a monk, I would still be doing something to make a difference to the lives of people. I wouldn’t want to just make money or compete with others.